Keir Royale

In which Blog Fodder leaves the comfort of his own home and gets very cross…

It’s gratifying to know that the stable doors at Exeter Airport are still firmly bolted.

It’s more than two years now since they were closed with a resounding clang after British authorities arrested 24 people in an alleged plot to blow up US-bound planes using explosives disguised as common liquids.

The Jihad against lotions and potions remains as vigilant as ever at Exeter, as I discover while waiting to board a flight to Jersey.

The super-smart X-ray machine discovers a small cool-box in my hand luggage. The tiny freezer block inside is quickly confiscated because it poses a potential terrorist threat.

The tub of margarine represents another suspect device and it, too, is whipped away.

I am permitted to keep the bangers… calm down, it’s only a packet of chipolata sausages.

Blimey, I’m thinking, whatever next?

It doesn’t take much of a rise in temperature before a bar of chocolate becomes a gooey mess and therefore a potentially lethal device.

Still, at least I have the consolation of knowing that the hi-tech snooper apparatus isn’t really up to the job.

The other cool-box in my bag remains undetected.
Inside is the terrorist twin of my former freezer block, a half-pound of Sainsbury’s deadly unsalted butter and a fiendish packet of Frubes.

Despite the arsenal in my hand-luggage you’ll be relieved to know that the plane landed safely, although by then the sausages were looking a bit iffy.

Blog Fodder