When Mike read the paper this morning, he expressed relief that I’m a non-smoker.
“Just imagine what he’d have been like if you’d smoked,” he said.
He’s referring to our son. Ben has much better self-control these days, and can happily sit still in class for long enough not to annoy his teacher.
But there was a time when…
- he threw a pot of paint onto the floor, the lid came off, and dark red paint splattered all over the carpet in my father’s new house
- on that same visit, he threw a breakfast bowl onto the tiled kitchen floor. It shattered, and on ordering a replacement I discovered that my father buys breakfast bowls that cost more than our entire crockery set.
Now when we visit he gets plastic plates.
- every tea-time was a cue for a fifteen minute tantrum, generally involving the throwing of furniture into the middle of the kitchen – and not by me, although I often felt like it.
- in the early days after his sister’s arrival he once made eight attempts on her life in one day.
1) throwing a wooden train at her head from the other side of the sitting room (he’s since received a certificate from school for “good catching” so his ball skills are still accurate)
2) slapping her across the head as I was feeding her, knowing I couldn’t easily discipline him with a baby clamped to my breast
3) aiming a quick kick at her side while I was changing her nappy (on the floor, as advised in all the manuals) then following that up with a karate leap onto her stomach
4) eating fish fingers with one hand and casually slapping her across the face with the other as I was (again) feeding her
5) stroking her gently on the arm, and quickly, before I could react, changing the stroking into vicous scratching. He then greeted her howls with a triumphant “Baby crying Mummy!”
The two of them are now great friends and love to be reminded just how cross Ben was when Hannah came into his life.
This morning though, they were both slow and uncooperative about getting ready for school, and as the shouting and the chaos permeated Mike’s intimate and exclusive relationship with the newspaper, he happened upon the relevant article and mused about how things might have been worse.
But that’s only if the research proves to be accurate.
It may not stand up to all the other research that’s bound to follow, and subsequent research may prove the exact opposite, leading to a mass take-up of smoking among expectant mothers with a slightly energetic family member.
On just a short flick through Google I came up with a few more smoking/ADHD related theories.
For instance –
Children with ADHD may take up smoking to self-medicate. Apparently nicotine can act a little like Ritalin, in that it’s a stimulant and helps people to concentrate for longer.
No, it makes no sense to me either.
Or, exposure to passive smoking can lead to ADHD symptoms. This, apparently, is because passive smoking can make kids snore, which reduces the quality of their sleep, which causes ADHD-type symptoms which may actually be due to chronic tiredness rather than ADHD.
So – smoking can cause ADHD and ADHD can lead to smoking.
Are there no two random words that scientists can’t link together to come up with a finding that has us all panicking and wishing we could turn back time?
There is one thing I can be thankful for though,
The researchers found no relationships between alcohol during pregnancy and ADHD
Thank the Lord.