Keir Royale

Yesterday Ben came home from school with a list.

“It’s all the things a boy should have,” he told me, “Mark found it in a book about boys.”
“The Dangerous Book for Boys?” I enquire.
“Yes, that’s it!” he says, surprised I’ve heard of it.

In case you can’t read his note (above) here’s what it says…

1 - knife (he already has a pen knife, but apparently it’s not as big as the one his friend has)

2 - compass (he has at least three of these)

3 - needle and thread (it’s only me that uses them in our house, for name tapes, hems and patching up school trousers)

4 - matches (not even sure we have any now it’s spring and we’re not using the open fire)

5 - handkerchief (I don’t think he’d recognise one if he saw one, he prefers his sleeve)

6 - magnifying glass (found one under the kitchen table)

7 - binoculars (he’s appropriated the ones I bought Mike in the days when we went on long coastal path walks)

8 - plasters (plenty of those around)

9 - rope (put to good use in his bedroom to make booby traps)

10 - stick (many abandoned in the back garden, now used to hold up sweet peas)

11 - map (his father’s a big fan of maps, perhaps he can provide this, like he provides all the guns, swords, bows, arrows and darts boards)

So Ben already has seven of the eleven items on his list.

Of the remaining four, I feel a handkerchief would be surplus to requirements, he’s still too daft and excitable to use matches without adult supervision, I’d have to teach him how to use a needle and thread, (I’ve explained how difficult he is to teach) and he can have a map once he knows what he wants a map of.

He also told me there was a section in the book about girls, which boys aren’t allowed to read until they’re sixteen.

By then, I fear the dangerous boys will be entering a new and much more terrifying phase.

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