When is it time for a hair-do?
When you can tuck your former fringe behind your ears?
When you have to wash your hair every single day just to make it look half-way decent?
(I apologise to all those people, primarily Americans in my experience, who always wash their hair every day, but I find the concept an alien and unnecessary one)
Or is it when a few amusing “oh aren’t I getting old, tra la” grey hairs mysteriously manage to hook up together to make an entire grey section of traitorous tresses, lurking above your not-yet-frozen-by-Botox face like a foretaste of the grim reaper?
Apologies for the Cold Comfort Farm moment, but it is a traumatic time when your hair starts to let you down after a lifetime of reliable, sometimes even honourable, service.
My time seems to have come.
I need a branchage.
But when can a FTWM snatch the time away from her Mummy-starved cherubs who spend all weekend trailing round after her, whining –
“Why do you have to work so much Mummy?”
Well it’s not that bad, but it is a problem.
I used to get my hair cut when they were at school.
Now I can either get it done on a Saturday, which is sacrosanct Time With the Children.
Or I can take a long lunch break from work, which means I have to stay late which means I don’t get home in time for the sacrosanct Tea With the Children.
So getting my hair cut (and the grey chunk zapped by dangerous chemicals) is the emotional equivalent of telling my children I neither care about them nor want to spend time with them.
If I can’t persuade a hairdresser to open after 8pm, when the children are in bed, I will either have to get Blog Fodder to do it, and I think you’ll agree he doesn’t look up to the job, or learn to love an increasingly straggly topping.
If I went for something like this –
I may get away with going just once a year.
Or if I chose this kind of statement –
I wouldn’t need to worry about the children as they’d never speak to me again.
It’s a conundrum wrapped inside a puzzle, masquerading as a “Why the hell don’t you just do it?” question.