The Hippy Trail

A round the world trip

Just look at him – those clothes, that hair, those Freeman Hardy and Willis shoes – just £5.99 and they saw him across Nepal and the rest of the Hippy Trail, or so he tells me.

And now, those flowing locks have vanished. Those flared trousers are never to be seen again. Even Freeman Hardy and Willis has long gone.

But what is it with men of a certain age, that convinces them that scraping individual hairs across their bald pate will fool people into thinking they have a full head of hair?

Even with all the available advice on best cuts for baldies – crop it, texture it, make the most of the locks you’ve got left without aping Rab C Nesbitt – there are still men out there who seem to be using a specially designed mirror with “see what you want to see, not what’s actually there “ built into it. A bit like the Wicked Queen in Snow White.

Just take a look at combover.com and you can find many fans of the age old technique, still strutting confidently in determined denial.

Now, I’m not in any way suggesting that my beloved has washed up on these sad shores, but… he’s certainly floundering in the shallows, ready meat for the combover shark and the “thickens your hair in days for just half your annual salary per week” charlatans.

Why can’t he shout it out, loud and proud, tell the world he’s no longer a callow youth but a mature, testosterone-fuelled man of the moment?

Just look at the Mitchell brothers. They don’t let the lack of a mullet or two stop them from pulling the birds, and just thinking about stretching the last few stray tentacles across your expanding forehead tells the world you’re from the lost generation of pre-baby boomers whose company pensions have collapsed and who wish they’d squandered their cash on holiday homes and fast cars.

I would blame myself for not giving him the confidence to just be himself in all his post-hursute glory, if I weren’t allergic to blaming myself for other people’s problems.

How to convince him that a quick number 2 would be so much more preferable?

The young shave it all off and don’t care.

But then, they’re young, so they would wouldn’t they.

About Beta Mum

Here you can find the ramblings of a trapeze artist turned journalist who ran away from the circus to join the BBC. Cathy "mine's a Kir Royale" Keir then spent thirteen years working in Jersey, Guernsey and Devon, before downgrading to what you see before you. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, The Stage and Television Today, Junior Magazine and both the BBC and Bad Mothers Club websites. She has two children who think women can’t be prime ministers. She blames herself.
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