One-click mayhem

the offending title

Today we received in the post a book from Amazon.
So what, you may think.
Well this was a big, hardback book about quilting. It’s called “Shadow Quilts: Easy to Design Multiple Image Quilts” and it cost £16.98 plus postage.

The interesting, and perhaps worrying aspect of this delivery is that neither Mike nor I had ordered it.

So has a quilter with a cash flow problem been hacking into our Amazon account?

I called to find out.
Well, it wasn’t that simple. I typed my phone number into a pop-up on Amazon’s site and their computer system called me back, and kept me waiting until someone in their call centre – based in Ireland judging from the accent – picked up the phone.

She told me exactly when the book was ordered, and that as it was ordered using one-click, it was impossible for anyone outside our house and our computer to do it.
As the deed was done at about 5.30pm, my suspicions immediately fell on the people who’ve been downloading random toolbars and coating my mouse with unidentifiable glutinous substances.

The children.

I’ve explained to Ben that he should never click on “yes” when it offers him the option of “run” and he hasn’t done that since the first couple of times. But I didn’t think to tell him not to buy stuff from Amazon using one-click.

And what interest does he have in quilting? He’s normally googling spy equipment and handguns and complaining that we don’t live in America.

“If we lived in America, could I have a real gun?”
“No, you do enough damage with a pen knife.”

Perhaps it was Hannah? The pattern on the front of the book is vaguely pink, and she does enjoy making her Hama bead creations.
Quilting is surely the next logical step.

I’ve already set Google Safesearch to maximum, to try to prevent unpleasant images from popping up now that they’re getting more computer literate, but it seems I will now have to go through all the cookies and re-set them to require a password to be entered before signing in.

I have already disabled one-click.

But their inventiveness continues to amaze and irritate in equal measures.

What will they manage to do next, I wonder?

About Beta Mum

Here you can find the ramblings of a trapeze artist turned journalist who ran away from the circus to join the BBC. Cathy "mine's a Kir Royale" Keir then spent thirteen years working in Jersey, Guernsey and Devon, before downgrading to what you see before you. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, The Stage and Television Today, Junior Magazine and both the BBC and Bad Mothers Club websites. She has two children who think women can’t be prime ministers. She blames herself.
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6 Responses to One-click mayhem

  1. Iota says:

    This is scary. Wasn’t there a 3 year old boy who bought a car on ebay recently? And in “Sleepless in Seattle”, Jonah manages to book a flight across the States pretty easily. Of course it shouldn’t surprise us – they’re so much more computer literate than we are.

  2. Iota says:

    With absolutely perfect comic timing, I have just (one minute after writing the above) been contacted on Skype by my 4 year old nephew in a different continent. I’m told he just clicked the button by mistake, but I wonder…

  3. clara says:

    My five year old thinks I’m an idiot when it comes to computers and he’s probably right. However my problem at the moment is that the children steal my digital camera, use up the batteries and fill the memory card with bad pictures of each other, the TV screen, next doors cat and their shoes. Shoes why I don’t know may be they have set up a shoe blog.

  4. Omega Mummy says:

    You get them quilting and then flog the resulting needlework for the cost of the book. I think it’s only fair. Or you read it to them at bedtime. Sorry, it’s been a long day.

  5. Sounds like a case of the Shoemaker’s Elves.

  6. Beta Mum says:

    Iota – that is a scary coincidence. At least Skype is free…

    Clara – a shoe blog, now there’s an idea. I bet there is one already though. Every mad blog idea has already been set up.

    OM – good idea, why didn’t I think of that before I spent nearly £2 sending it back to Amazon?

    MatL – More shoes. There’s definitely mileage in the shoe blog idea…

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