Keir Royale

I thought we were almost through the impossible questions stage.

I’ve spent many years answering things like -

“Why is air see-though?”

“Do flies have ears?”

“Can God fly?”

And I thought they were getting old enough to realise I don’t know everything.

But no, they still look to me as the fount of all knowledge.
And this one’s a real poser.

“How many numbers are there in a number?” asks Hannah, as she diddles about with her slices of ham.

“Numbers in a number?” I repeat, hoping I’ve misheard the question.
What do they think I am? Some kind of Further Maths geek with a special interest in Physics and Philosophy?

“Yes,” says she, “like 6. There must be lots of numbers in 6. It’s even.”

“Oh,” I say, relieved that a glimmer of understanding has come my way and that I can still attempt a reply that won’t reveal my ineptitude to my children.

“How many numbers go into a number? Like dividing?”

“Ye-es,” she says, in the same tone Ben uses when he says “du-uh.”

“Well, that depends on the number,” I say, playing for time.

“It’s infinite,” says Ben, “You can make the fractions smaller and smaller.”

“Yes,” I say, glad someone knows what they’re talking about.

“What’s infinite?” demands Hannah. And after that’s dealt with, we’re back to square one. Or a number between one and ten.

“So what about 6?” she asks.

And we list the whole numbers that can go into six, as I don’t think she’s up to fractions yet, not without the aid of a cake, and it’s nearly bedtime and I don’t have time to buy or make one.

It’s all my fault. Ben’s learning about sound, so I asked him and his friend the one about the tree falling in the forest when there’s no-one around to hear it.

They disagreed.

Ben thinks you can hear it and his friend thinks you can’t.
Next time Hannah deals me a tough query, I’ll hit her with the silent tree.
It may keep her quietly pondering for long enough to forget her original question.

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