The boy who couldn’t paint by numbers

a famous enthusiast

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but when my son received a paint-by-numbers set as a present, I thought he might enjoy seeing a picture emerge without worrying about how to do it, like I used to.
But he is not a mini-me.

A few minutes into this new project –

“Why do I have to do it that colour?”
“Why has this bit got two numbers on it?”
“How do I mix up these two to get that colour?”

We finally came down to the nub of it.

“But I don’t want to paint it that colour. Why should I? It’s my picture.”

I ought to know better than to expect a reaction from my son that in any way mirrors my own at the same age.

I was a girl, an only child, a perfectionist who always tried my best, ever eager to please the adults I lived with.

Ben is a boy, one of two, he’s slapdash and devil-may-care when it comes to anything involving paper and pencil, and rarely bothers about pleasing anyone other than himself.

That’s not to say he doesn’t care about other people.
He can be very thoughtful, but his aim in life is not to garner praise and admiration from significant adults.
It’s to perfect his spying techniques, climb a mountain, and smother everything in ketchup before allowing it near his mouth.

He likes to draw, but he hates colouring-in and his painting style is more Jackson Pollock than John Constable.

So it was inevitable he’d see painting-by-numbers as a restrictive force for evil, rather than an undemanding way of turning out a picture that looks more realistic than he could have done on his own.

I’ve kept the set though. I may spend a happy half hour on it myself.
It’s the only way I’ll ever produce a picture that’s halfway recognisable.

About Beta Mum

Here you can find the ramblings of a trapeze artist turned journalist who ran away from the circus to join the BBC. Cathy "mine's a Kir Royale" Keir then spent thirteen years working in Jersey, Guernsey and Devon, before downgrading to what you see before you. She has contributed articles to The Guardian, The Stage and Television Today, Junior Magazine and both the BBC and Bad Mothers Club websites. She has two children who think women can’t be prime ministers. She blames herself.
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5 Responses to The boy who couldn’t paint by numbers

  1. Brilliant. Love it. You are raising a non-conformist. Other people – who raise kids that are happy to colour the boxes the colour they’re directed to – will sneer and would have you believe your son’s wilful. He is. Be proud. It’s the best way to get by in life – and he’ll have so much more fun. PS I have a Ben so am probably bit biased.

  2. Omega Mum says:

    It’s tough. Round here, they have colouring competitions. The little perfectionists always win. There’s no Jackson Pollock tribute prize – great shame in my book.

  3. Could there be a gap in the market for a Jackson Pollock painting by numbers set — or an airfix Damien Hirst kit?

  4. Mya says:

    My boy is just the same. ‘What do you mean I CAN’T paint the grass blue? I want to. And I’m going to.’

    Mya x

  5. Beta Mum says:

    Memsahib – he’s certainly that. A non-conformist non-believer (except in heaven, not hell).

    OM – I don’t even bother reminding tham about school colouring competitions any more. I think the parents do them anyway.

    East of east of east – great idea. If only I had the start-up capital. The Pollock sets would go down well in National Trust and art gallery shops.

    Mya – a determined approach will work wonders in their chosen careers. Let’s hope they don’t opt for crime.

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