Beta Mum's Blog Beta Mum on 27 Jun 2007 01:30 pm
Shares
What’s so great about sharing?
I hate it – but I have to encourage the kids to do it.
It’s unnatural and unpleasant, and makes me cross.
I especially hate sharing my study – Mike eats over the computer, without using a plate, and leaves crumbs on the keyboard.
The children play CBBC games with sticky hands and leave the mouse all gucky, and they sometimes download interfering toolbars I have to remove, taxing my PC skills to their limit.
I hate sharing the house – I like things clean and tidy, but I live with three people whose attitude to this is that I’m obsessive.
My preference for clean, tidy houses does not extend far enough to compel me clean up the house-wide mess left by the three people I share it with.
So I end up living in a house that oppresses me with random STUFF.
I hate sharing my bed – Mike likes to leave the electric blanket on for hours, even in June, and then forgets to turn it off. I’ve pulled it over to his side so it hardly touches me, but that means I have to stay on one narrow strip of bed if I don’t want to braise myself to sleep.
And he snores.
And when I complain about it he says I snore.
I hate sharing the bathroom – I want a bathroom that makes me happy just to be in it.
What I get is a small pit awash with plastic toys which assault my retinas, and surrounded by walls besmirched with smudgy handprints.
I hate trying to reach a mutually acceptable decision on decorating/buying furniture/anything to do with the house. We can never agree on what I want, so I give up in disgust and end up with what he wants.
I enjoyed doing up My First House when I bought it, because I could make the decisions without considering anyone else’s point of view.
I grew up as an only child, which could account for this attitude, and Mike’s the oldest of 8, which could account for his similar reluctance to back down one, single, inch, ever.
But - if I lived on my own I’d have turned into the kind of person who plumps up cushions when people are sitting on them and who washes up in between courses.
So it’s probably best that I’ve been forced to c-c-c-compromise (I can’t even type the word, let alone do it) all these years.
Doesn’t make it any more pleasant though - can you tell I’m in a bad mood?
on 27 Jun 2007 at 3:18 pm 1.Cathy said …
PLEASE tell me you are not turning into Liz Jones!
on 27 Jun 2007 at 3:36 pm 2.Erica said …
I like my own space, I kissed goodbye to that when I became a mum.
on 27 Jun 2007 at 5:13 pm 3.clara said …
I usually feel like this after a day of picking up after everyone and trying to find space in my house for useless plastic objects. I always loved the William Morris maxim “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”. At the moment it feels like neither apply. I love my family but they drive me nuts.
on 27 Jun 2007 at 8:54 pm 4.Stay at home dad said …
You should never have taken the plastic off the sofa Beta Mum… I feel you are not alone.
on 27 Jun 2007 at 8:56 pm 5.Mutterings & Meanderings said …
Oh dear, I eat over the computer too. You should see the state of my work PC’s keyboard - there is currently a broken fingernail lodged in there …
on 27 Jun 2007 at 9:36 pm 6.Mother at Large said …
General household flotsam. Yes, drives me bonkers too. I hate all the mess. Discarded bread sticks, plastic animals, husband’s socks - what is it with men and socks? - damp laundry, dry laundry, dirty laundry, bills, books, brochures, computer magazines (husband’s).
And yes, of course, when I had my own place I didn’t appreciate either a) my freedom or b) the tidiness. I used to iron tea clothes, for goodness’sake. Now it’s all we can do to get an ironed shirt for husband to wear to work. The rest of the time we slum it in crumpled kit.
Have decided I can either risk insanity by spending ALL my time tidying up - and it would be messy again only hours later, or force myself to chill out about mess everywhere. Trouble is I can’t let go of the hope we’ll all live in a beautiful, orderly home one day - hence constant tension.
on 27 Jun 2007 at 9:37 pm 7.Mother at Large said …
Oops - that should read ‘tea cloths’! I didn’t have special clothes for drinking tea or anything… wasn’t quite that sad.
on 27 Jun 2007 at 10:42 pm 8.lady macleod said …
Bless your heart. I totally sympathize, but I really think your last comment about the “c” word is true. Perhaps you should keep a bachelor pad but without the man-on-the-side just for yourself?
on 27 Jun 2007 at 11:08 pm 9.Tracey said …
I enjoy reading when someone else is grumpy for a change - hey… seeing you’re already a journo, doing radio and all that, should I expect to see you in the next episode of Grumpy Old Women?!! (Which I love!)
In my dreams I have a tidy house, but the reality will never get there, and we have places in our house which look exactly like your first photo. I believe that the kids have taken me over the edge… and now I’m dangling out of control. Husband leaves stuff lying around everywhere which makes it hard for me to vacuum or dust, and then he has the hide to complain about the mess on my computer table!
And he snores too.
Lucky we agree about a lot of other things…
on 28 Jun 2007 at 8:40 am 10.Nunhead Mum of One said …
It’s not just me then. I yearn for a bathroom with fluffy white towels, slippery slidey bath and fragrant candles. What I get is towels that either take your skin off or damp towels bunched in the corner, a bath full of grit (lord knows where it comes from) and the entire cast of Finding Nemo.
on 28 Jun 2007 at 10:13 am 11.Beta Mum said …
Hm, Liz Jones - if I only had the income to turn into her! But no, I think my potential for OCD is way behind her established problem. And Mike isn’t that bad really. On a good day.
Erica - yes, just ten minutes to listen to The Archers in peace now constitutes my own space.
Clara - I’ve stopped picking up, that’s the problem. Once I’ve completed my current task I will devote a day to it. Then I will feel better, for about two days.
SAHD - Perhaps I could divide the house into two separate apartments, one for me and one for Them?
They’d be allowed to visit daily, but without toys, food or clothes coming with them.
M&M - I have a mini-keyboard vacuum you could borrow, unnused as yet.
MatL - I think the state of being pre-children is like being young, you have to be unaware of what you have in order to enjoy it properly and unthinkingly
Lady - one room just for me would be good
Tracey - my media career didn’t quite reach the GOW heights!
Nunhead - what amazes me about bath toys is that everything is a bath toy, not just bath toys